...behind their decisions, most people give the explanation that they suspect will make them sound most sensible. Rarely, though, do those answers reflect the real story. Our biggest choices and preferences are generally influenced by emotions and instincts. We fear that if we confess to these we may sound immature so we keep quiet about them.
If, though, you want to help someone see a situation from a different point of view, you need to first discover what's truly motivating them.
A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others. (Ayn Rand)
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