.....Some of you may know bits or all of this, but many of
you won’t.
On 11 February I had approx 20cms of badly diseased
intestine removed. Badly diseased due to
Crohn’s. This was my 3rd
major abdominal op, and I now have two-thirds of my intestine remaining. I think this op lasted about 4.5 hours, and I
spent about the same amount of time in a recovery room. I’ve been left with another 18cms,
north-south, scar.
On 15 February the surgeon paid me another visit. As soon as he pulled the bed clothes back he,
unceremoniously tore open the bottom of the new scar. He knew what he was looking at – my abdomen
was a vibrant red in colour - and had to act quickly. I’d caught an infection, and he had to
release the pressure that was building up, and get rid of the ****** that would
have caused more than a little harm.
(This wasn’t the first time I’d shed a tear, but it was the first time I’d
done so in front of a consultant. The
pain was too intense, even for an epidural and pca to deal with.) It was at this point that I had what many
refer to as an out of body experience. Initially, I didn’t understand it, or
why I experienced it. I’m very pleased that I did. (I’ll chat over the detail with anyone who’s
interested.)
Once the antibiotics started to get on top of the infection,
it became a matter of the long preparation for going home. Every day a lot of nasty stuff was discharged
from the urgently created opening.
Dressings applied twice daily.
I was sent home on 22 February, knowing that the open wound
would be attended to by a District Nurse.
For the first 2 weeks I stayed at Vi’s – easier all round. She was absolutely brilliant, and still is. The love and
devotion she has shown, especially since 20 December, helped me more than I can
readily find the words to describe. Many
times I have wondered if I’d have come through this without her, and all that
she has done. She helped me to live.
Back to hospital again on 25 February to have the stitches removed.
Immediately, the top of the wound opened.
An opening that was to get longer and deeper – worryingly so. On top of this, I was hit by a virus which I
still haven’t fully recovered from.
I’m now back at home, and all the professionals are pleased
with the progress the open wounds are making.
I’m still very weak, and tire easily.
Still on a lot of pain relief, but only for the post-op pain. Still see a District Nurse on a daily basis.
Strangely, I’m still coming to terms with having no
abdominal pain when I eat. It’s not ‘normal’. I will always have abdominal discomfort – I’ve
had it for most of my life. I will soon
have to think about getting into my car – something which more than unnerves me
a little. I wouldn’t have this concern
if it didn’t sit so low to the ground.
Getting in and out of it will still hurt badly. I’m just going to have
to accept this.
I’ve so much to be thankful for. People at both ends of the
age spectrum taking time out to write to me.
Hundreds of people – total strangers, and not just in this country –
frequently praying for me. Many
different denominations. (One group prayed for me for 24 hours on the
day of my op.) The knowledge of my
surgeon. The visit of my surgeon on that particular Friday - not commonplace. The expertise of the anaesthetist. The quality of the nurses, both in and out of
hospital. The warmth of a protective bubble. And, yes, I'm also thankful for those dark moments - I can learn from them.
I’ve also felt anger on a number of occasions. Anger at the realisation that my faith isn’t
as strong it should be, or as strong as I thought it was. Also anger and disappointment at the lack of
support from some local quarters leading to a frustration that is sufficient enough
to make me realise that my discipleship may lay elsewhere. ( I can’t grasp their concept of discipleship. Neither can I grasp why it’s
considered wrong to question such a lack of anything I’ve ever seen written in
the Bible. I do know what would have happened if I’d acted in the same
way. I'll have to give this more thought/prayer.)
I was asked if I would return to my preaching/studies and
charity work, when fit. I never had any
doubt that I would return to the only 2 passions I’ve ever had. My answer was that I would do so for that
reason, and also as a ‘thank you’ to all who have been so very supportive (a
support emanating from these passions) – so many that I’ll never be able to
thank everyone individually. Besides, only
The Boss can put me on another path of discipleship. (I cannot say if this will be on the path I currently tread. More prayer/guidance required.)
So, friends, I’ve left Base Camp, and now have to climb
my personal Mount Everest. With the prayerful,
generous, support of so many I know I’ll reach the summit; but I don’t know how
long it’ll take. Each day brings me closer
to normality, but I’ve no intention of coming through this only to return to
that which offers no support or progress.
