Far too frequently.....

.....I'm made aware of the problems the people of our world face - poverty, war etc leading to a total loss of hope.  This awareness goes hand-in-hand with my ears being subjected to 'there's just so much wrong with this world, what is the use of me trying to do anything to put it right?'  

I find those words most irksome, especially if they come from those who so readily pin the label of Christian on themselves. This is the sort of response doing only a little can bring.  It always does make a difference.   It always does restore hope.

Dear Colin,

Today i picked up the box which you very kindly send it recently........My dear friend i am so touched to get this box from you. Words can not be described just how much a appreciate your deep love in your heart for the poor people in Moldova. Only last we have identified 4 children living in very poor conditions without both parents. They were very hungry and very poor clothes. They mother is gone somewhere here in Moldova to find a job but they did not know anything about their father.  As i said before that everything you have sent here is very much needed and appreciated so thank you again for everything you put in this box. I will send you another email with some photos of the families who will benefit from these things.

God bless you my Brother,

Slavic 

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because 

he could do only a little.   (Edmund Burke)

Why, if so many people say....

....that they want peace, so many of us pray for it and sincerely hope for it, is there so little of it in the world? It can only really be because, strong though the urge to coexist in harmony may be, people are also very sensitive to unfounded fears and suspicions. 

We may worry that if we put our defences down, someone else will simply keep theirs up and thus take advantage of us. However else such a principle may play itself out in the wider world now, there is no need to let it surface in your life.

Happiness is not a goal; it's a by-product  (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Who wants the serenity....

....of reassurance when they can know the adrenaline of anxiety? Who wants the protection of stability when they can feel the thrill of fear? Why stay in a comfort zone when you can go to a war zone? Now I can guess what you may be thinking - 'Why is he saying all this to me? Is this his idea of a joke?' 

But look at what you are actively electing to experience. You don't have to be in a tense situation. If you are, it's because you once chose to put yourself there. You can choose to take yourself out of it.

Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness  (Martin Luther King Jr)

'Who started the argument?'....

....When people are engaged in an ongoing dispute, a question like this can prove extremely useful. Not only does it intensify the conflict, it provides a welcome respite from what might otherwise become a tedious debate and so provides an entirely new battleground for all participants. 

But it won't, of course, take anyone so much as an inch closer towards a resolution. That can only ever come from a willingness to stop playing the blame game and to foster whatever mutual agreement there may be.

Common sense is not so common   (Voltaire)

To do otherwise would be....

.....rather daft

The world is full of people....

....who think they know how things need to be, how actions should be performed, how judgements ought to be made and how problems have to be solved. Yet, even if we choose to listen to the folk who hold these opinions so strongly, we have to acknowledge that there is no great consensus. 

Those big, powerful ideas and views differ wildly from place to place and person to person. That's all the more reason for you to trust your own thoughts and feelings.

Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.   (Alfred Lord Tennyson)

Rules are made to be broken.....

....but only by those who are willing to take the consequences of breaking them.  (I love those first 6 words, but tend to forget the rest.)   If you want a safe, predictable experience, stick entirely with what you are 'supposed' to do. Better yet, take up a lifestyle that's full of restrictions and protocols. Fill your days with orders and instructions that must be followed to the letter. 

And if you really don't want that - but seek excitement, challenge and change instead - then step over the line. Be wary of the consequences - but not afraid of them. 

I'm not trying to follow a set of rules and stuff. I'm just living my life.    (Joel Osteen)

There is always something....

....that isn't right. There is always a reason to worry or a factor to feel resentful about. That is just the way of the world. There will always be darkness. There will always be rain. Yet there will also, always, be something to celebrate, something to embrace or something to feel grateful for.

There will always be a choice; an opportunity to notice what is seemingly bad and react to it or a chance to acknowledge what is good and to give it its due.

When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, 

everybody will respect you.       (Lao Tzu)

People cannot resist....

....telling other people how to live their lives.   (Some will even go as far as to tell you how to react and what to think.)  This is partly because it is always much easier to criticise someone else than to acknowledge your own mistakes. It is also much easier to give advice than to take it. That's why there are so many experts. We all want to be experts - and we all want to consult experts! 

Yet real experts know that, no matter how expert they are, they cannot possibly hope to understand everything. Be suspicious of definitive statements. Only uncertainty is certain.

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.   (Joseph Campbell)

Some arguments aren't....

...worth getting into. We know, before a word is spoken, how they will play out. We can hear our set-piece speech forming in our own head... and it doesn't require much imagination to guess what will be said to us in return.

Conversation that doesn't actually involve listening, absorbing, digesting and allowing for some possibility of change as a result of the exchange is never very worthwhile.

The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway 

with an open mind.     (E. B. White)

Nothing ventured, nothing gained....

Isn't that what they say - whoever 'they' are. But hang on just a moment. What would you rather have in your life now? A little bit of something? Or a whole load of nothing?

Well then, don't venture nothing, venture something! Take a risk. Put your head above the parapet. Face the possibility of failure if you truly want to embrace success.

It takes two flints to make a fire.   (Louisa May Alcott)

So very true....

.....and always worth remembering

Here's some wise words....

....from a very famous person - 'Happy is the person who finds fault with himself, instead of finding fault with others.' I'm pretty sure they're not intended to suggest that self-criticism is the key to everlasting joy! It's just that if you are going to find fault with anyone... well, there's the funny thing. Shifting the blame may produce a temporary sense of relief but ultimately, what we all need is forgiveness.

Forgiveness of others, forgiveness of ourselves.

No enemy is worse than bad advice   (Sophocles)

Please grip hold....

....of someone or something, and prepare yourself because 'they' have been speaking up again.....

There is, they tell us, no problem in this world that cannot be resolved through a process of constructive communication. They love saying things like this because it makes them feel very wise and very righteous. I wouldn't mind betting that when they sit down to talk to one another it is never long before they start disagreeing.

Maybe, in an ideal world you would not want to be in your current situation.  I certainly don't.  But this, just in case you have not already noticed, is not an ideal world!  Don't try to make it one.

Love is a flower you've got to let grow   (John Lennon)

Don't just sit there....

...do something.' That's what people often say to each other in moments of stress or high drama. It's often sound advice. We shouldn't sit around passively, accepting developments that we ought to reject. There are times when judicious action, undertaken with courage and determination, can produce a transformation that's beyond anyone's expectation.

But there are also times when nothing is a very smart thing to do. We should always avoid being pushed into an ill-considered response.

What is past, is prologue  (William Shakespeare)

There are many doctors....

....who treat physical causes for physical symptoms. Rarely, if ever, do they stop to consider a patient's frame of mind. Many, indeed, see the body as somehow distinct from the person that occupies it. Alternative healers, as we all well know, take a different view. They look for psychological problems that may somehow be contributing to the condition.

As with illness, so with trouble. Look beyond the obvious whenever you need a way to fix a difficulty.

Into each life some rain must fall.    (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

I appreciate how excited....

 .....you can get when 'they' decide to speak up, so let me add to your day - They say that stress is a modern disease. Really? Our cave-dwelling ancestors didn't find life stressful, coping with all those fierce animals and battling enemy tribes? Do we really think life was any less tense in the Middle Ages? Or even the 19th Century? Stress at The Somme? Perish the thought!!

The only thing that is new, is the understanding that it is a condition in itself and doesn't always have to be related to physical or psychological circumstances.  And there we have it - the key point. The only change that you need, if you are to rise above stress, is a change of outlook.

No one heals themselves by wounding another.

There used to be....

....two sides to every story. Now, though, we have the internet and we can discover endless perspectives. We all see things differently, yet we all feel our own point of view is correct.

To protect ourselves from the stress of encountering a conflicting opinion, we develop a special kind of insensitivity. We listen, but we do not take any of it in.  So, our own prejudices survive.

He who angers you conquers you. (Elizabeth Kenny)

What else would you want to be!!....

Are you sitting comfortably?.....

.....OK, breath in.  You know what's coming.  They say.......

They say, 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.' Why do they say that? This old phrase suggests that if we're tired of preventing someone from behaving in an unacceptable way or breaking rules that we believe should be upheld, we may as well just stop striving to turn the tide and instead, jump into that very same ocean and start swimming. 

What kind of justification is that? You surely don't want to play someone else's game, or stoop to their level. So be careful about taking even a single leaf out of their book.

Be thankful for all you have, because you never know what will happen next.

Apparently there are....

....millionaires who lose sleep at night about the state of their finances. There are paupers who feel genuinely happy and secure. Whilst we all tend to imagine that we would feel better if we were better off, that is a false assumption. 

At best, an improvement in our material circumstances would bring fleeting excitement. True peace of mind can neither be bought nor paid for. But it can be experienced.

True friends can see the hurt in your eyes when everyone else is fooled by your smile.

The power of deep....

.....personal reflection and contemplation is greater than any of us imagine. Once we start to see why we really feel a particular way and gain a sense of insight into our moods and feelings, we can find it surprisingly easy to break a habit and escape a routine. 

It's only when we feel we dare not even think about a matter... or insist that we have no problems that need to be addressed that we fall into unnecessary despair. If you're honest with yourself and with others; all that's wrong will start to right itself.

One today is worth two tomorrows.   (Benjamin Franklin)

Some people argue....

....vehemently against compromise and conciliation. 'Life,' they argue 'is too short for settling for second-best.' Yet where is the second-best in giving a little ground and showing a little respect? 

Being a 'winner' isn't somehow superior to being a 'loser' if all you are winning proves to be at too great a cost - especially when accompanied by a loss of dignity, honour or empathy. It is always important, to honour the right priorities.

The doors of wisdom are never shut  (Benjamin Franklin)

Parables. Legends. Myths and stories......

....We use them to illustrate important points. After a while, the events of our own past start to serve a similar purpose. We look back and remember how certain developments played themselves out. We decide that we will let this be a lesson to us. 

Sometimes, though, we draw the wrong conclusion. We learn the wrong lesson. And as a consequence, the way we look at a piece of history can prevent us from creating a better tomorrow. 

Silence is a source of great strength.   (Lao Tzu)

Let's be bold.....

let's jump out of our comfort zones..........and discover what 'they' are saying - 

Two heads are better than one. Does that only apply when the two heads disagree to some extent? If they both see eye to eye, they won't question each other's judgement. One won't somehow inspire the other to raise their game. A little bit of disagreement, like a small amount of competition, is healthy. 

But in the most constructive and productive processes of interaction, the differences don't turn into disputes. Always give the fair hearing that you in turn would like to be given when it's your turn to speak.

Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.   (Francis Bacon)

Once bitten, twice shy.....

....So goes the old saying. It is rooted in great wisdom. Yet, just as a root is not the ultimate manifestation of a plant's natural potential, the saying stops short of the full message it ought to convey. Once we have been bitten by anything, we are indeed more likely to avoid the possibility of this happening again in the same way. 

But that doesn't mean we should now start to live in fear of any situation that happens to have some teeth. Don't let an old fear prevent positive progress.

Nothing endures but change  (Heraclitus)

Just next door to the....

Injustice Factory is the Self-pity Store. On the great emotional trading estate that surrounds the suburban idyll of our normal mindset, such specialist outlets are easily found. And there is always a sale on - even a give-away.

We only have to stop and wonder whether our lot in life is too hard or if someone else is being selfish and, hey presto, there we are at the checkout with trolleys brimful of seething resentment or inconsolable angst. 

You don't have to make either place your destination.

Let deeds match words.   (Plautus)

How many fingers....

....am I holding up? That's got you foxed, han't it? You can't see my hands. Perhaps you could take a psychic guess? Close your eyes, let your mind go blank and think about nothing. Now, what can you see? 

Tell you what. Let's try a logical approach. It can't be more than eight. I haven't got more than eight fingers. And if I am holding up all of those, how am I also managing to type this? Actually, I am not holding any fingers up at all. 

Now, tell me, what is the point of ever playing guessing games!

Everyone has gone through something that has changed them in a way that they could never go back to the person they once were.

You know you should....

Where's your focus?.....

Gone are the days....

....when bullying behaviour was accepted with a shrug of the shoulders. We crack down on those who abuse power, even if the crime was long ago. We know it is never OK for one individual to push another around.



But where is the protection for those who are mean to themselves? Who defends us from our tendency to beat ourselves up? Who stops us being teased or tormented by our own guilt, angst or fear? Only one person can ride to your rescue today. The one who has just read this very sentence!

Control your own destiny or somebody else will   (Jack Welch)

When looking for love....

....people often talk about finding Mr (or Miss) right. If we want a partner at all, we want someone who will be right for us. But what is right now may be wrong in the future. Real rights and wrongs may rarely change - but things that 'feel right' one moment, can feel very wrong the next.

Sometimes we have a desire to right a wrong. Before you can do that, though, you must be sure that you are not wrong about what is right. You had also best make sure that you are right about what is wrong!

Make a commitment to be a master of change rather than a victim of circumstances.

I don't want to shock you, but....

.....we are not robots in disguise.  Neither are we steamrollers or sledgehammers. We were not placed on this earth so that we could battle with one another or spend our whole lives forcing our will upon the world around us. There are, of course, times when it is most appropriate for us to summon determination and employ stubbornness to great effect.

These, though, are surely weapons of last resort. We pay a price whenever we use them.

To love means loving the unlovable. Faith means believing the unbelievable.  

Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless. 

(G.K.Chesterton)